it has been hard to put into words what i have been thinking and feeling lately; mostly due to the fact that i feel like my head is one large ball of mass confusion.
(officially) today is the first day of my last semester of undergrad. i have hated every single second of college -academically speaking. it seems a bit unreal that this is the end considering how hard it has been for me to care about writing papers that no one reads and reading books that don't say anything important. not to mention spending thousand of dollars (that i don't actually have) for a piece of paper that is proof of the royal waste of time i've spent doing these things. i'm called to not love the things of this world, and in so many ways i see the "power of education" as something directly connected to the mess and greed of this world.
the end of these few years brings me to a transition. and that transition brings so many questions:
grad school? to go or not, and where.
place of residence? it would be helpful if i could even narrow it down to a state
world race? raise 15,000 dollars and be gone for a year to serve others and God, is it possible or the right thing?
career? i have no idea
relationships? ha
blah blah blah i'm bored even writing this.
maybe i just wanted to look at these questions written down...
i know it's taken care of already. i just want to live like it is. i'm surrendering all i am.
aghhh...
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